Why Hard Conversations Go Wrong
Most people put off a hard conversation for the same reason: they can already picture how it will go. The other person gets defensive, or goes quiet, or turns it into an argument about something else, and the thing you needed to say never quite gets said.
Much of that picture comes from style. Each DISC style hears criticism through a different worry. A D hears a challenge to their control. An I hears that you like them less. An S hears that the relationship is in danger. A C hears that their work, or their judgment, was wrong. When you open the conversation in a way that sets off that worry, the person spends the rest of it protecting themselves, and they stop listening to the problem.
This lesson shows you how to open, steer and close a hard conversation with each style, so the person can hear the problem and still trust you at the end. It works for a coworker who misses deadlines, a partner who keeps making plans without asking, a friend who borrowed money, or a parent who keeps giving advice you did not ask for.
Your goal is one change, with the relationship still whole at the end. Every step below serves those two goals.
Read the whole lesson
This lesson is one of the premium lessons included with WiredType Plus and Pro. The rest of it gives you the first sentence to say to each style, what to do when they react, how to end with a real agreement, and practice scenes with feedback on every choice.
See what Plus and Pro includeWhat the full lesson covers
- Before you start: the three things to decide
- The first sentence for a D, an I, an S and a C
- When they react in their style's way
- How to end with an agreement you can both check later
- The risk your own style brings to it
- Practice: five scenes with feedback